Tag Archives: Kids

Indulge me while I beam.

Right now I’m sporting a grin that I don’t think will fade any time soon.  Yesterday, Mr. Wonderful and I went to LSU to retrieve The Trailblazer and all his smelly, college boy stuff, and accompany him home for the summer.  As I write, he’s sprawled out on the couch, exhausted from the marathon of finals week, with the remote in one hand and the dog tucked under the other arm.  It’s hard to believe that the year is over.

The feelings I’m having right now are very new, and I’m not sure I know what to do with them.  What I want to do is stand in the street and brag to every passer-by about my incredible son.  But that would probably run off a few friends, embarrass my son, and be in violation of my neighborhood association’s rules.  (But it’s what I really want to do.)  So since I’ve gathered up all these readers here, I’ll bore you for just a few minutes while I indulge this maternal need to talk about my boy.

The Lucky Mom and The Firstborn. (Isn't he handsome??)

I’ve lived this last year in a strange, new place.  Anxiety and pride huddled side by side, competing for my emotional space.  Worries about how he’d handle his new independence, whether or not he’d practice basic hygiene, and hoping most of all that he’d maintain the GPA necessary to keep his free-ride scholarships intact.  My maternal pride wanted to boast to anyone who’d listen about his great accomplishments, but my anxiety kept me keenly aware that he was just one good fraternity party away from having it all go down the tubes.

It seems bad timing for college freshmen to be delivered to their new lifestyle at the beginning of football season.  Any Tiger Fan will attest that Death Valley in the fall is an intense experience.  So the vibes I was getting at the beginning of the year didn’t make me feel any better about the Big Three Worries I was having.  But he made it through the first semester with good grades, no police record, and no injuries requiring stitches or hospitalization.  His second semester schedule was pretty ambitious, but he carried the load beautifully (got even better grades than the first semester!) and ended the year more grown up than I could have imagined.  My worries about him taking his future seriously were put to rest when he asked me and his dad recently if “we would mind” if he added a minor in Aerospace Engineering to his Mechanical Engineering major.

The only point I feel I need to continue fretting over is his standard of living.  Perhaps I just don’t remember how skanky college life is (or maybe he’s just gross) but that boy’s dorm room was plain old nasty when we got there to move him out.  As he’ll be in an apartment with 3 other guys next year, I’m hoping someone in the group will be able to exert a bit of influence over him, and reform the really bad habits he developed this year.  But as I write these words, a great sense of relief rushes over me.  Because if I had to be let down on one of my Big Three Worries, that’s the best one.

So for the next few days I’ll be strutting around like a Really Proud Mama.  I’ll cook his favorite foods and fluff his pillows and be glad he’s under the same roof as us a while.  When the newness wears off and he starts aggravating his brothers, I’m sure look at the calendar and figure out how many more weeks til he heads back.  But for now, if you should bump into me, and I’m beaming, you’ll know why.

Boxer Shorts and other Concerns

The Little Guy:  Mom, you need to get me some boxer shorts.

Me:  OK.  (Huh?)

The Little Guy:  I need to protect my sperm.  I want to have a family some day.

Me:  Okay.  (Whaaat?)

The Little Guy:  You do want grandchildren, don’t you.

Me:  Yes, I do.  (Exhale.)

The Little Guy:  We had Family Life today.

Me:  Really??  (They could’ve sent home a note.)

Family Life is the Catholic school’s version of Sex Ed, and all material is presented within the framework of Catholic values. A parent’s guide was sent home a few weeks ago, and I flipped through it.  It was full of chapters about marriage, children, valuing life.  Nowhere in it was a chapter about boxer shorts.

And why on earth was I the parent getting to handle this???  My husband wanted sons, and I gave him sons.  So I assumed that when it came time to have all these talks, they would be handled by Dad.  But since I get to spend so much quality time with the boys, I always seem to get to do the fun stuff.  Like talking about sperm.

The Little Guy:  And are girls circumcised?

Me:  No, they’re different from boys.

The Little Guy:  I know, Mom.

Me:  Dad really knows more than I do about this kind of boy stuff.  Maybe you should talk to him.

The Little Guy:  No, you know enough. 

Glad to know I’m qualified to discuss such matters.

By the Numbers

Today’s numbers are much better!

4:  The number of days until College Boy returns home for the summer.

7:  The number of school days left for The Middle Kid.

12:  The number of school days left for The Little Guy.

2:  The number lunch dates with friends I have planned for the rest of the week.

1:  The number of shopping sprees I have planned for this week.

6:  The number of squirrels that were frolicking in my back yard this morning.

86,400:  The number of seconds in this day.  I’m going to make the most of them!!

Nerd + Nerd = More Nerds

{ Source: Sony Pictures Animation }

nerd   (noun \ˈnərd\):  an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits

(Yes, I looked it up.  It’s what I do.)

The Caboose came home from school a few days ago in a bad mood.  He went up to his room to sulk for a little while, then appeared in the kitchen a few moments later, ready to talk about it.

Him:  I’m glad I’m not going back to that school next year.

Me:  (Concerned look.)  Why?

Him:  Because they have too many bullies.

Me:  (Seething.)  What happened?

Him:  The popular kids were calling me and my friends names.

Me:  (Seething more.) What did they call you?

Him:  Nerds.

Me:  (Sympathetic look.)  Aww.

You must understand, “aww” was the word that came out of my mouth, but my brain was saying “yessss!”  For I know the path of a nerd.  And it turned out just fine for me.

You see, I’m a nerd.  To be specific, I’m an English Nerd.  My husband is also a nerd.  He’s a Computer Nerd.  Turns out that when two nerds marry and have kids, guess what their offspring turn out to be.  You got it…more nerds.

Now I use the term with great affection.  Many of my closest friends are nerds.  (Go figure.)  But coming to terms with being a nerd is a long process.  And my Little Guy just isn’t there yet.  It’s my job to get him there.

When my kids read this (…who am I kidding, they don’t read my blog…) they’re not going to be happy.  Having one’s mom tell the world you’re a nerd can’t be good for adolescent self-esteem, but deep down I think the two older kids already know.

As for The Caboose, I’ll tell him over and over that he shouldn’t listen to what other people say.  I’ll reinforce the philosophy that “it’s what’s inside that matters.”  I’ll remind him that he has many friends who like him just the way he is.  But he’ll still want to be more like the  popular kids.  And he’ll want to be one of them.  It’s part of growing up.

This week is my College Boy’s Spring Break.  (Some of my friends have been expressing woe over their kids going to the beach for Spring Break.  I can’t even imagine that level of worry.)  When he said he planned to stay home, I was quite relieved.  Then a magical thing happened:  his girlfriend came to our house, and tucked under her arm was a physics book.  I almost cried.  They spent the afternoon at the dining room table with laptops and physics books. He has (at least on a sub-conscious level) realized he’s a nerd, embraced it, and is seeking out others like him.  The circle of life is complete for that one.

The wild-card among my children appears to be Slick, the middle child.  He has cool hair, a quick wit, and a free spirit.  He plays two team sports.  This apple may roll a little farther from the tree than the others.  (He’ll probably be a Democrat.)  But he did set his alarm for 3:30 A.M. a few days ago to wake up and study for a Latin test, so he’s clearly showing nerdy tendencies.

Raising a house full of nerds has made me happier and prouder than I ever could have imagined.  I’ve realized that the world has enough Alpha Males.  It needs more Nerds.  It needs more people who value intelligence over attention and substance over style.  I’m happily doing my part for the greater good!

So, to all the popular girls who called me names in high school, thank you.  (I’m sure some of you turned out nicely, too.)